HomeToMyLove

*For Alice Blog*

I really don’t talk about this.

Maybe because I am still processing. Maybe because I don’t know the “right” words. Or maybe because I think the words I choose won’t be able to explain the depth of my hurt.

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After 24 years of active involvement in the church, I cannot get myself to step back into a place that once meant community, sanctuary, and connection.

A place where I worshipped alongside what I thought were the best people I could meet.

Where I led small groups, pointed teams, and at one point spent over half the weeknights.

Where I grew up, healed, and came to know my Jesus.

Church is where I met my lifelong friends, mentors, and the love of my life.

I was surrounded by so many people who loved Jesus and wanted to love their community well. I thought I was set.

…then I posted my engagement on social media.

My engagement to my beautiful wife. Another woman.

A woman who fiercely loves Jesus.

A woman who chooses to spend her life worshiping Him and leading others to do the same.

A woman who has more grace in her pinky finger than I could ever hope to possess.

A woman who worked in the church.

So, the place that I once called home turned into a place of alienation, rejection, and division.

A place that I cannot find Jesus in anymore.